Event Horizon

black holeI feel like I’ve been sitting on the event horizon of my personal black hole. This has happened to me before and last time, I was past the point of no return without realizing it was happening. That was a very, very bad year. I lost my father and two of my dogs in six months. I stopped leaving my house because both my dogs were lost when I went out.  They were old, but it still got to me on some level that it was my fault for not being with them.

My dad had, had a stroke years before, and he was not doing well. Losing him was not a surprise but it still got to me. I wish I could say it was because of good things. I wasn’t ready for those. Mostly I felt cheated that I never got to tell him how angry I was at him while he was still mentally able to understand the rage I’d been sucking up for decades. He made some very selfish choices that severely changed the course of my life.

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This is Carter Price

tumblr_piti6zGqyb1tb1kgx_250Name: Carter Alton Price
Alias: Jack Bristow
Born: April 3, 1972, Las Vegas, NV
Embrace: Feb 16, 2010, Los Angeles, CA
Clan: Ventrue
Sire: Ivan Spalko (Blood Bound)
Prey: Military, Cops, Firemen, men in uniform…
Nature: TBD
Demeanor: TBD
Occupation: Fixer—you got a problem he takes care of it. Former Air Force fighter pilot, CIA agent.

I was born the year Nixon went to China. The year of the last draft. Nixon and Brezhnev signed the first SALT treaty, and Watergate. 1972 was a hell of a year. Dad was in the Air Force. I was born in the base hospital at Nellis outside of Las Vegas, and the family shipped out with dad from one base to another all over the world until the old man settled down. I remember cracking up when I got the recruitment flyers in the mail during my senior year—as if I wouldn’t be following in dad’s footsteps. I wanted to fly.

Dad was happy about it. My older brother had no interest in entering the military, and I don’t think there was a drop of patriotic blood in his body. Pretty sure he hasn’t changed much over the past 40 years either. He’s up in Oregon, growing pot, and hooking up with chicks with hairy armpits and munching granola. Not my style. Dad used to grumble that I should’ve been the junior in the family since I was his mini-me.

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How RP broke my writer’s block

I’d been suffering from writer’s block for a few years caused by a blanket of depression that I didn’t realize was going on. Someday I might talk more about that, but for now let’s just say it sucked. I could write some fanfic, but original writing was out of the question my brain would not cooperate.

Then one of my friends asked me to play Vampire the Masquerade with her online through Facebook. I hadn’t played VtM in a very long time, but it has always been my favorite RPG. My brain kicked into gear, and I think it took me all of two hours to create Carter Price.

It felt good to make an original character. It was wonderful to get to RP after so long, and since the online experiment my friend (who is also a Jenn) and I try to get together every other month for in person gaming with Carter.

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Nick and Des’ future

At my writers’ group on Saturday, I told them I was having a real hard time finishing the Prenup from Hell. I know how it ends. I know how they get there, but I’m having a bitch of a time writing it.

My friends both pointed out it’s because I’m afraid to let go of the characters. They’re family at this point, and I do love them. Shaleatha Palmore told me the best thing to do was to figure out what comes next.

I’ve always planned on Prenup being the first in a series, and after a lot of brainstorming with Shaleatha and Andi Van, I’ve decided the next project will be the Babysitters from Hell.

I’ll also be editing/polishing/rewriting Toya’s novel, so I have a plan.

Plans make Jenn happy.

Sometimes, they even make her productive.